Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Paths of Thyme Excerpt-Nadasa and Dan

"Nadasa and Dan" by Andrea Nan

Here is an excerpt from "The Paths of Thyme" as promised. This scene takes place near the beginning of the book, between Nadasa and her best friend Dan. Dan is a shepherd, and most of you have probably never heard of him until now. Well, I hope you enjoy this scene. Please don't forget to comment and let me know what you think!

“What are you doing up there Wren?” Came a voice from below her tree. Nadasa leaned forward to see a tall strong boy with straight blond hair. His head was tipped back to look up at her, and he was grinning. She laughed at him, and through a handful of leaves down on his head.
“I'm building my Nest, Ash.” she called, using his middle name as he had done with hers, it was a bit of a private joke between them.
“Is there room for another up there?” He asked formally, bowing as if he wanted to ask her to a dance.
“Come on up Dan.” Nadasa said, “I'm having some trouble with Thalia so I flew away to the trees.” Dan started his ascent, he wasn't as graceful as she was but he could still climb pretty well. As he climbed he called up to her,
“You know, Nadasa you shouldn't run, or fly, away from your problems. It only makes them worse.” Nadasa sighed and climbed lower in the tree to a wide tree branch that had enough room for both of them to sit comfortably side by side.
“I know,” she said as Dan reached the branch and sat down. “But I couldn't think of anything better to do. You should have been there,” she said looking into his hazel eyes, “Thalia was so angry.”
“I know,” Dan said, “She told me everything, and sent me out here to get you.” Nadasa stiffened, and crossed her arms huffily,
“Well you're not moving me an inch.” she said. Dan smiled again, and leaned back against the thick trunk of the tree, trying to get comfortable.
“That’s what I told her. I said that I couldn't move you an inch unless you decided that you'd like to, which you won't of course.”
“I just don't understand why she didn't tell me that I was a Wanderer.” Nadasa said, twisting a few leaves together with her hands and tossing them to the ground below. “I think I deserve to know about my past and my heritage.” Dan nodded thoughtfully.
“For some reason she believed that it would be best not to tell you. She probably has some good reasons.” Nadasa puffed out her cheeks and let out a gust of air as she tried to sort out her feelings.
“But she never even told me her reasons!” Nadasa complained, “She just said that it was better if I didn't know and that the Wanderers are not my people.”
“But Thalia said they abandoned you.” Said Dan “Doesn't that kind of make you an outcast or something. I mean if they didn’t want you, then you're not really part of their group then right?” Nadasa gave him an angry look,
“It’s not that simple.” She said, “If one of your older brothers suddenly decided that he didn't want to be part of your family, does that mean that he wouldn’t be part of your family anymore.”
“No…” Dan said slowly,
“Exactly,” Nadasa continued, and warming to her subject, “Or if your father decided that he didn't want you to be his son anymore, you would still be his son, it wouldn't change that. It would only change your relationship with him.”
“I guess.” Dan finally admitted.
“See, I’m still part of the Wanderers whether they want me or not.”
“But what does that change?” Dan asked looking in her eyes. “So you're part of the Wanderers, what does that mean? It doesn't really make a difference around here. You're the same girl you’ve always been.” Nadasa looked away, a pained expression on her face. He didn't understand, and how could he, she thought. Dan had always had a family, and knew where he belonged, but she didn't. She had no idea who she was, and who she was supposed to be. Discovering that she was a Wanderer had given her hope, that maybe somewhere out there, she had a family, a group of people to whom she belonged. She knew that she couldn't give that up, and she wouldn't. Not ever.

10 comments:

  1. Great scene! I would read the whole book......it sounds so enticing:) You are a great writer!

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    1. Thank you! I can't wait until it's ready for everyone to read! :)

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  2. That's really good Andrea! I love it!

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  3. Hm, this is intriguing. The Wanderers?...
    I love the picture you drew! It is (for lack of a better word) so sweet. The dialogue between Nadasa and Dan felt very real.

    If you don't mind, I have an small, little suggestion: use the words "replied" and "retorted" more, instead of just "he said" or "she said".

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    1. Great! Intriguing is good. :) Thank you! I really enjoyed drawing the characters after I had finished the scene, it made them come to life a bit, If you know what I mean.

      Thanks for the suggestion, I'll keep that in mind in the future. :)

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  4. A couple of niggles:
    - stiffed should be stiffened
    - "you know" is an american colloquialism - would she use it?

    I really like it. :) Belonging is such an important theme. I'm glad you're exploring it.

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    1. Fixed them! Thanks for pointing them out.

      Thank you, I'm really excited about the way the story is headed, especially with the sequel, but no spoilers, not yet. ;)

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  5. Aside from a couple of (I assume) typos, this was an interesting piece. I want to know more about these characters, but mostly I want to know Thalia. I think she could be a strong character. Also, what makes N and D different from every other YA couple out there?

    Keep it up! It's neat to see that you're approaching your final word count. I hope that you can make it soon.

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    1. Sorry about the typos, I'm not the best at fixing punctuation, grammatical errors, etc. Thank you. Thalia has a very intriguing backstory, and is a pretty strong character. I need to work on her a bit in revision, but I think you'll like her.

      As for Nadasa and Dan and how they differ from every other YA couple. Well I guess you'll just have to wait and see, but it's not the typical love story/love triangle. In fact, it was a total accident that I created a love triangle in the first place. I don't really like love triangles all that much, so it won't be like the common "which one do I choose" dilemma. The twists that I added, I believe, will make it fresh and different.

      Thanks for the encouragement, I can use all that I can get!

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